Olaide AGUNLOYE (SHe/Her)

THERAPIST + SUPERVISOR

Olaide is a licensed clinical social worker, writer and first generation Nigerian-American who identifies as a wounded healer. Olaide has worked in various capacities as a social worker/educator in early childhood, family advocacy, inpatient psychiatry and homeless prevention. As a therapist, she strives to hold a compassionate space for those struggling to create a pathway towards whole-hearted self acceptance. Her commitment to the use of empathy helps to nurture fruitful partnerships that inspire healing.

Questions? olaide@forrealtherapy.com

INTERVIEW BIO WITH OLAIDE

What inspired you to become a therapist?

My life experience. I identify as a wounded healer and have always been a caregiver naturally, even when I don’t intend to. I also have the gift of insight – tie that in with compassion being my religion and here I am. I’m most inspired by the ways people have survived and their capacity to be resilient. I want to be intentional with the way that I help you – that’s my motivation. 

What can I expect when working with you?

You can expect a non judgmental space knowing that the things you may identify as the worst parts of yourself won’t scare me. You can expect a partnership (if you’re open to it) to help you better understand yourself, to work towards achieving transformational self-acceptance. I believe that's where healing starts.

There’s a lot of stigma surrounding therapy and many misconceptions… People believe that one person is supposed to be the expert and the provider, when actually the person seeking therapy is the expert on their own life. I'm here to listen, validate and help you embrace the difficult parts that live inside of you. My function as a therapist is to empower the skill sets that you already have and reduce the barriers that are disallowing you from fulfilling all the goals that you want to achieve in life. 

How do I know therapy is working?

It isn't always clear that it is. Therapy is a way of confronting things within ourselves that we ignore to avoid discomfort. You will know therapy is working when you become more aware of your pain/suffering, emotional wounds and behaviors – and understanding what motivates them. You will know you are healing when you are able to interrupt your maladaptive behaviors that you’ve normalized. 

A myth is that therapy works when you’re smiling and have high energy (performing happiness) opposed to actually practicing gratitude or being still or being happy or even bored. When you achieve acceptance of what is happening opposed to resisting it – I think that’s a healing space. 

Who are some clients you feel most comfortable working with?

I have worked across the lifespan with multicultural identities and I am comfortable working with anyone. However, as a first gen, Black woman, I have a deep understanding of how assimilation tries to flatten our uniqueness. Society works to define us whether we resonate with the narratives attached to us or if we choose to resist them. That's important to acknowledge. Shared experience can provide a certain cultural context that is otherwise ignored.

What is your universal piece of advice?

Healing is not linear and regression is a normal part of progress. A lot of times, when we revert back to things that may have been labeled as “issues” – we think, “Oh, I’m not progressing.” Even when you “regress,” understand that is a part of the process, and your healing is in the decision to keep going.